i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
