No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
