You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
