in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
