There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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