We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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