Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need moral support for this bender
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
