I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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