you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dick very happy bro
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
