i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize