so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
