he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
