oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
