It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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