i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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