rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
