it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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