Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
