It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
