Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
