I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
