Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
