At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
