So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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