As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Barsexuality is the new black.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
