I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
