how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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