His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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