Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
