then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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