Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
