Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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