24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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