I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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