We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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