WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
