Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
