Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
