im six kinds of drunk right now
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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