please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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