You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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