he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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