Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
