he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
