We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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