Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
