Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
