My friends, they love my intelligence
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
