are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
