Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize