That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
