Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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