I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
