I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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