getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
