Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
