More tranny stories later!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
