when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
