Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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