the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
