Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
