Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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