is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
BRING THE BAGELS
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
