All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
