You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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