that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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