I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
