so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize