why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
