we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize