Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
im holly from the hills drunk
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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