Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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