We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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