the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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